विचार / अन्तर्वार्ता

Start to Restart!

-Rajan Godar


How are you doing?  I miss you. I love you. This deadliest season (COVID 19) almost killed me for many reasons and challenges. Fortunately, I am with you here. Let me say revived and revitalized.

Unexpected CORONA season is no doubt full of unforeseeable and uncertainty disturbing and damaging lives of many people. It is probably the gloomiest season in the history of mankind. Life was already a terrific struggle for me, and the outbreak of this virus broke me into pieces that it worked as a super-catalyst to ruin my both personal and professional life.

I could see my dreams and plans vanishing that I was so close to achieving, falling bricks of my business, a failing man making partners and coworkers fail, 20 years of effort turning into ashes, delivery failure of promises, love most is walking away and so on. Today, I can guess I am not alone in this boat, but the pain is very personal. I got shattered and collapsed. Absolutely NOT FAIR. I got to reboot.

Questions kept rolling in my brain. They have been ruling my brain since the 19th of March 2020. HOW LONG is this season going to last? Vaccine, antidote, specific treatment be there by when? Who will discover the facts about it? When can I resume my normal routine as it used to be? So that I could try to stop the vanishing of dreams and restart from there. A month is not a short time. It took me more than a month to realize that I am unrealistic or a fool in fact. Since this season hit my life so hard probably I was gone mad unnoticed. To trace back it feels like I was asleep with eyes wide open, a hibernation. Ultimately, a wakeup call smacks me strong.

I should have been indifferent to this sort of questions days ago. I am nobody to worry about it. Silly people like me worry about something which is beyond their control. It is never me but someone else to answer those questions. And I was stupidly questioning myself for something absolutely reliant on others. Of course, I lament to waste my days. I am not redoing the same mistake. I regret wasting hours and hours on smartphone reading, watching, listening news, views and everything- good for nothing. OMG, what a waste! There is no value of any information in my life that I collected and totally useless for anyone else too. A set of basic information was sufficient to stay updated. At least a good sleep instead could have rejuvenated me.

Our HOPE is what making us survive. I can’t imagine what is going to happen once our FEAR wins against our own HOPE. But I know we as human are persistent to stay strong during any disaster. If there is a chance of false hope, there is false fear too. No matter how bad is the present or past we can always work out to build a better future. Germination of better future seeds is essential and that’s what we can do during this epidemic while waiting for the right season to sow the seeds.

I have a friend who owns and runs a barbershop. No business for 30 days made him shut down his business. He rang me and asked me for the help of a few thousand rupees to pay his staffs, rental and survival for a few days. I said I am sorry to know about it. And he responds “Rajan Dai, I lost my existing business and I am not sorry for myself. I have not lost anything else that I have. I have not lost my skill, energy and an entrepreneur’s attitude. I can redo it as soon as the sky is clear from corona cloud”. I could not stop thanking him.

I was in a full depression as if there is No Tomorrow. It definitely rings a bell. Nothing happens if there is no tomorrow. Stupid me, got so worried that what if this and what if that. Factually worries take us nowhere. I was in a series of thoughts with ordinary flow and feature in this extraordinary time. My fault. Let’s say the whole world will collapse because of this virus. That should be okay too. What and who to worry about. Worries are all about our attachments. My life, my business, my job, my career, my people and you add more. And to detach is to awake.

The virus must be collapsed or become curable or we develop our immune or it becomes as normal flu. Findings will be there one after another helping mankind to overcome this. But when? Can I wait? Should I wait for something uncertain to happen and get everything paused now? How long can I take to overcome frustration and agitating feelings? How long can I waste my time and energy with this depressive mode?

This morning I woke up with certain clues. This afternoon, I am writing this piece to share with you dear. Certainly, this cruel season is uncertain. I am not after this anymore. I mean, I am not going to pause everything for this disastrous time to end. I am going to do everything possible and certain for my healthy body, healthier mind, a happier future and try to shorten the distance to my dreams. Will You?

I know my seeds will take some time to leave new seeds.  

Stay Strong & Start to Restart.

With Love and Best Wishes to You Dear!

Yours R.

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